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Sunday, February 22, 2004

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     today was another inbetween day  REALLY BAD and ok i got to see grace that was awesome i wonder if we will ever get back together even tho i highly doubt it i ddont know maybe she is pushing me away for a reason i dont know why tho maybe she is sick of me i knwo i am of my self ys it only seem like bad things happen to me everything or one i know goes away it seems like and its not fair i cant believe how unfair life can be but then on the other hand it  was given to us by someone who didnt deserve to die but even cuz of that im sick of my self still and i dont deseve her i love her soo much but i dont know if that willever be returned i  wonder what she sees when she looks at me ? or what she thinks when she hears my name? ther was so much i coulda said to her but i didnt and maybe it cost me her life sucks sometimes .  why do i keep trying to play this game when i know nothin really ever works  out in the end  the results are the same maybe its cuz i knwo she means alot to me and  i knwo it is gunan suck if i loose her for good ..... i really need to see whats going on and i dont know how i know i sound fucking psycho for saying im sick of myself but ig uess everyone has there days and u cant always get what u want but if i know i dont only want her i need her what should i do then .........

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